Lately, I have been struggling with balance.
A few days from now will be the one year anniversary of moving into our home. My boyfriend, my two kitties, and I, live in a tiny house that is currently kind of a mess.
In that year, I don’t feel like I have learned to adult any better. There are dishes in the sink, and pieces of cardboard all over living room (the cats tear up boxes), clothes all over the bedroom, and towels on the bathroom floor. I haven’t raked the leaves up outside, and there’s actually a dead wreath from last Christmas leaning against my house.
Sometimes, I feel like such a failure at this adult world. How do I balance a full time job, loving my boyfriend and cats, spending time with my friends, and hobbies? As usual, I turn to my tarot cards for help.
When I first started reading tarot, I did it by the book.
Literally, I would take out that little book that came with the cards, and follow all of the instructions. I would shuffle the cards, fan them out, and hover my left hand over the deck, waiting until a card called to me. It never did, so eventually I would just grab cards, lay them out in a spread, and then flip them over one by one, interpreting them as I went.
I currently read tarot with a much more flexible approach.
I start by I getting a snack, lighting a candle, and then I journal. I write down what is on my mind, typically something that’s bothering me. Today, it’s how to balance all of this, and end up with a healthy body, thriving mind, and content soul.
With a hot cocoa from Starbucks, I sat down with my tarot journal and wrote. “It’s been a year since we’ve moved in. I spent a month of that year unemployed, and the house was really clean during that month. Now, I am working full time, and trying to balance that and a clean house and having fun. Last week I had a panic attack. What can I do to pull all of this together?”
After sorting through my thoughts, and identifying what I am truly worried about, I pull out my cards and I chat with them. Shuffling the cards and telling them my worries just takes away my anxieties. It sort of makes me feel more in control, like I am finally doing something about it.
This time, I actually pulled out a significator card.
Typically, a significator card is chosen to add a more personal element to the reading, and to symbolize the person asking for the reading. However, I almost never use them that way.
I pulled out Temperance to symbolize the theme of the reading, and to focus myself on seeking balance. I actually chose my deck today based on which deck contains my favorite temperance card.
I asked four questions:
What part of my life needs the most work?
What can I do to pull my life together and find that balance?
What are of my life is doing well?
What can I do to create a healthy body, thriving mind, and content soul?
What part of my life needs the most work?
I pulled Judgement, who’s keywords are “renewal, discover, transition, and rebirth”. This storm brings a light. It reminds me of the quote by Louisa May Alcott, “I’m not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship”. Taking control of my own life and learning how to have confidence in my decisions and how I am steering my ship will help me bring balance to my life, by helping me prioritize what I truly want out of it.
What can I do to pull my life together and find balance?
I pulled Ace of Arrows, and Lovers. The keywords for Ace of Arrows are “creativity, beginnings, passion, and inspiration”. Part of finding balance is following my own heart and doing what makes me happiest. However, I also pulled the lovers, who’s keywords are “love, relationships, trust, and values”. I need to focus on the needs of those I love as well as my own, and find a way to balance the two.
What part of my life is going well?
I pulled the Seven of Stones, which represents “accomplishments, recognition, assessment, and patience”. I am so happy this card came up when I asked this question, because I have been working really hard to not get overwhelmed with the huge list of tasks in front of me, which ranges from the immediate “clean the litter box”, to the farther away “get a job that pays great, rock at it, and also buy a house”. Thinking about what I need to do to get where I want to be is simply terrifying. I have been trying instead to focus on taking baby steps, and feeling accomplished for each step I take closer to my goals, rather than feeling overwhelmed by how far away my goals seem.
What should I focus on to create a healthy body, thriving mind, and content soul?
To create a healthy body, I pulled the King of Stones. He is “knowledgeable, stable, practical, and successful”. So I should just keep working out, doing my best, and working steadily towards my healthy body goals until I am successful. For a thriving mind, I pulled the Tower. Not a great card, and at first I was stumped by “disaster, shock, destruction, and chaos”. But when I thought about it, I realized it meant that my mind needs challenges, and difficult things to mull over, in order to thrive. This too will build confidence. Finally, the Knight of Arrows tells me how to get to a content soul. The Knight is “adventurous, flamboyant, confident, and passionate”. Best stated by the decks booklet, I need to “know who [I am] and love it!” Be myself, and it will bring me peace.
This reading did help me feel a little bit more at peace, and took away some of that anxiety. It gave me something to focus on. Tonight, I will do some yoga, love on my boyfriend a little bit, and try to make my decisions confidently.
~ Miss Tilney*
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