Happy Thursday witches! I’ve finally sat down and worked through all my thoughts on this subject. If you follow Magickal Mavens on instagram, you may have seen my post about this Taurus New Moon helping me climb out of this dark cloud I’ve been under the last few months. While it’s likely I’ve just been dealing with some unexpected seasonal depression, it kicked my anxiety into high gear.
While I haven’t been diagnosed with any formal anxiety disorder, it’s something I’ve been dealing with since I was a pre-teen. I was always in a constant state of “what if”, preferring to lock myself away from people and read than interact with my peers. However anxious I was though, I always trusted my intuition about people and situations.
I will always remember the day I didn’t listen to her. Her voice whispered to me as I made plans. She caught herself in my mother’s voice as she asked me when I would be home. She raised the hair on the back of my neck and arms. She frantically dug a pit in my stomach so deep it felt as if it had no bottom. She begged and pleaded with me to run. And yet, I did not move. And in that split second of indecision, choosing to ignore her, she silenced her voice.
It has been a struggle ever since to convince her to speak louder than a soft whisper. I broke our bond and she could no longer trust herself to keep me safe if I was unwilling to heed her words.
This constant state of questioning myself and the intentions of those around me is exhausting. Some days are better than others, but up to the Taurus new moon, my anxiety has been at an all time high.
Walking this path requires us to embrace ourselves fully and to trust Her without question.
In order to truly manifest you must feel and trust what you want and need to deeply within your body that your energy is clearly channeled. There must be no doubt in your mind in what you want. Anxiety makes that feeling, a total bitch to get too. Intuition hides in Anxiety’s shadow, afraid to push her aside. Afraid to bring you back to that roaring fire inside you that always lit your path.
I have been slowly attempting to reconnect with Intuition. It is something I work on little by little every day. Relearning to trust myself and Her takes effort every day. It’s acknowledging the wavelength you find yourself on, encouraging and responding to those moments the moment they appear. It’s showing yourself grace and care on your bad days, and trusting that they will be over by morning.
I wanted to share with you a few of the things I have been implementing into my lifestyle that have helped me manage my anxiety and foster trust in myself. Learning to trust myself impacts every part of my life, and in particular my magick.
1. Silence, Solitude & Space
2. Decisions Decisions Decisions
3. Prioritizing & Planning
4. Purging your internal dialogue
Silence, Solitude, & Space –
This can be a difficult one, but for me it is usually the most important. It is imperative that for your own mental health and wellness that you find a few moments every day to care for yourself. How can you continue to care for those around you when you have literally nothing else to give? Caring for yourself is caring for your loved ones. You don’t do anyone any good by running yourself ragged.
Now, for those of you that are parents – I know this is practically an impossibility some days. So I challenge you to plan at least one day a MONTH to get some real peace and quiet. Trade off with your partner so that you can each have your moment to rest and reset. Your spirit will thank you.
Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.
For me, this was largely about what do I waste energy worrying about each day. I’ve worked to pair down my closet, my skin care, my makeup routine, even meal prepping. Anything I can think of that I can work to have a solid foundation in. If I can do it half-asleep, or on auto pilot and I look put together and well fed, I am a fan of. The less time and energy I put into these things, the more I can put towards the things I am passionate about.
Prioritizing & Planning
Keeping a rough daily/weekly schedule has helped my anxiety so much. Now, this is largely a control thing but it has helped me ensure I meet all of my “musts” each week. Working out, meal planning, content for MM, everything important to me. Anything outside of those musts is required to fit around those, and if it doesn’t – I say no. My bullet journal is becoming my greatest asset.
Purging your internal dialogue
You must have a space to dump your thoughts, unfiltered and unashamed of them. It is something I am still working on, but it has helped me so much in relearning to trust my initial thoughts and feelings regarding something. Whether this be in therapy, a journal, whatever makes sense for you – be sure to do it. First thing in the morning with your coffee, just after the kids have gone to bed and all is quiet.
These are still a work in progress for me. I’m sure they will never be perfect as we all grow, but they are the few things I am committing myself too. I may let my emotions fuel my magick, but I won’t let them control me.
I hope you found these helpful. If you implement any of these into your life I would love to hear how.
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